Readings for Civil Ceremonies

Readings for civil ceremonies are wedding readings without reference to religion. Instead, these readings focus on the institution of marriage and the unity between a man and a woman. A "civil ceremony" just means that your ceremony does not take place in a house of worship--it does not necessarily mean that you must get married at the courthouse!

The following readings are very popular with couples who do not identify with any particular religion and wish to have a purely secular wedding ceremony:

Readings for Civil Ceremonies #1: The Art of Marriage by, Wilferd A. Peterson

The little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.

It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted;
the courtship should not end with the honeymoon.
It should continue through all the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other,
not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice,
but in the spirit of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating
gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo
or the wife to have wings of an angel.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.

It is cultivating flexibility, patience,
understanding and a sense of humor.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal,
dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner,
it is being the right partner.

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Readings for Civil Ceremonies #2: This Day I Married My Best Friend

This day I married my best friend
...the one I laugh with as we share life's wondrous zest,
as we find new enjoyments and experience all that's best.
...the one I live for because the world seems brighter
as our happy times are better and our burdens feel much lighter.
...the one I love with every fiber of my soul.
We used to feel vaguely incomplete, now together we are whole.

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Readings for Civil Ceremonies #3: I Promise by, Dorothy R. Colgan

I promise to give you the best of myself
and to ask of you no more than you can give.
I promise to respect you as your own person
and to realize that your interests, desires and needs
are no less important than my own.
I promise to share with you my time and my attention
and to bring joy, strength and imagination to our relationship.
I promise to keep myself open to you,
to let you see through the window of my world
into my innermost fears and feelings, secrets and dreams.
I promise to grow along with you,
to be willing to face changes in order to keep
our relationship alive and exciting.
I promise to love you in good times and bad,
with all I have to give and all I feel inside
in the only way I know how,
completely and forever.

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Readings for Civil Ceremonies #4: Never Marry But For Love by, William Penn

Never marry but for love;
but see that thou lovest what is lovely.
He that minds a body and not a soul
has not the better part of that relationship,
and will consequently lack
the noblest comfort of a married life.
Between a man and his wife nothing ought rule but love.
As love ought to bring them together, so it is the best way
to keep them well together.
A husband and wife that love one another
show their children that they should do so too.
Others visibly lose their authority in their families by
their contempt of one another, and teach their children to be
unnatural by their own examples.
Let not enjoyment lessen, but augment, affection;
it being the basest of passions to like
when we have not, what we slight when we possess.
Here it is we ought to search out our pleasure,
where the field is large and full of variety,
and of an enduring nature; sickness,
poverty or disgrace being not able to
shake it because it is not under
the moving influences of worldly contingencies.
Nothing can be more entire and without reserve;
nothing more zealous, affectionate and sincere;
nothing more contented than such a couple,
nor greater temporal felicity
than to be one of them.

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Readings for Civil Ceremonies #5: Marriage Joins Two People in the Circle of its Love by, Edmund O'Neill

Marriage is a commitment to life,
the best that two people can find and bring out in each other.
It offers opportunities for sharing and growth
that no other relationship can equal.
It is a physical and an emotional joining that is promised for a lifetime.
Within the circle of its love,
marriage encompasses all of life's most important relationships.
A wife and a husband are each other's best friend,
confidant, lover, teacher, listener, and critic.
And there may come times when one partner is heartbroken or ailing,
and the love of the other may resemble
the tender caring of a parent or child.
Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life.
Happiness is fuller, memories are fresher,
commitment is stronger, even anger is felt more strongly,
and passes away more quickly.
Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes lifeis unable to avoid.
It encourages and nurtures new life,new experiences,
new ways of expressing a love that is deeper than life.
When two people pledge their love and care for each other in marriage,
they create a spirit unique unto themselves which binds them closer than any spoken or written words.
Marriage is a promise,
a potential made in the hearts of two peoplewho love each other and takes a lifetime to fulfill.

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Readings for Civil Ceremony #6: Marriage is the Closest Kind of Friendship

Marriage is the closest kind of friendship.
Years of traffic wear away the lines
Between two souls with similar designs,
Ending more in unity than kinship.
Separate actors must play separate parts:
They must alone be riveted by need.
Far beneath that soil a single seed
Roots itself, tenacious in their hearts.
In love there is a trust beyond the word.
Each finds peace in each, as though the light
Needed the tranquility of night,
Deeper than what silence can be heard.

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Readings for Civil Ceremonies #7: To Be One With Each Other by, George Eliot

What greater thing is there for two human souls
than to feel that they are joined together to strengthen
each other in all labor, to minister to each other in all sorrow,
to share with each other in all gladness,
to be one with each other in the
silent unspoken memories?

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Readings for Civil Ceremonies #8: Love

Love is a friendship that has caught fire.
It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving.
It is loyalty through good and bad.
It settles for less than perfection,
and makes allowances for human weakness.
Love is content with the present.
It hopes for the future and it doesn't brood over the past.
It's the day-in and day-out chronicle of irritations, problems,
compromises, small disappointments, big victories,
and working toward common goals.
If you have love in your life,
it can make up for a great many things you lack.
If you don't have it, no matter what else there is,
it is not enough, so search for it, ask God for it, and share it!

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Readings for Civil Ceremonies #9: Excerpt From The Velveteen Rabbit by, Margery Williams

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but Really loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get all loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

Searching for more readings for civil ceremonies? For more options, try searching through our Wedding Poems.

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