Humorous Wedding Readings For Your Ceremony
Add humor to your wedding ceremony with funny songs, humorous wedding readings, and unique quotes! Humorous wedding readings are a great way to personalize your wedding ceremony and make it a unique expression of yourselves as a couple.
One word of advice: Keep it tasteful! Older relatives and parents of young children present do not want to hear crude jokes. There are plenty of light-hearted and fun wedding readings that are appropriate for all ages. Funny Wedding SongsOne way to incorporate humor into your wedding ceremony is to use the lyrics from a funny song about love or marriage as a humorous wedding reading during your ceremony. Here are the lyrics from the "I Wanna Grow Old With You" song featured in the movie The Wedding Singer. I Wanna Grow Old With You by Adam Sandler I wanna make you smile, Whenever you're sad. Carry you around when your arthritis is bad. All I wanna do, Is grow old with you. I'll get you medicine, When your tummy aches. Build you a fire if the furnace breaks. Oh it could be so nice, Growin' old with you. I'll miss you, kiss you, Give you my coat when you are cold. Need you, feed you. Even let you hold the remote control. So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink. Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink. Oh I could be the man, Who grows old with you. I wanna grow old with you. Humorous Wedding PoemsListed here are several poems that are appropriate for humorous wedding readings at your ceremony. You could incorporate these verses into your wedding vows or have them read by a friend or family member during an interlude. Yes, I'll Marry You - Pam Ayres A humorous wedding reading from both a husband and a wife's perspective! Yes, I'll marry you, my dear, and here's the reason why; So I can push you out of bed when the baby starts to cry, and if we hear a knocking and it's creepy and it's late, I hand you the torch you see, and you investigate. Yes I'll marry you, my dear, you may not apprehend it, but when the tumble-drier goes it's you that has to mend it. You have to face the neighbour should our labrador attack him, and if a drunkard fondles me it's you that has to whack him. Yes, I'll marry you, you're virile and you're lean, my house is like a pigsty you can help to keep it clean. That tasty little dinner which you served by candlelight, as I do chipolatas, you can cook it every night! It's you who has to work the drill and put up curtain track, and when i am in a mood it's you who gets the flak. i do see great advantages, but none of them for you, and so before you see the light, I do,I do,I do ----------------------------------------------------------------- Oh the Places You’ll Go - Dr Seuss A humorous wedding reading by popular author Dr. Seuss! Another variation is to create your own Dr. Seuss-inspired wedding poem. Congratulations! Today is your day.You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away!You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.You can steer yourself any direction you choose.You’re on your own. And you know what you know.And YOU are the couple who’ll decide where to go.You’ll look up and down streets. Look ‘em over with care.About some you will say, “We don’t choose to go there.”With your heads full of brains and your shoes full of feet,you’re too smart to go down, any not-so-good street.And you may not find any you’ll want to go down.In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town.It’s opener there in the wide open air,Out there things can happen and frequently doto people as brainy and footsy as you.And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew.Just go right along. You’ll start happening too. OH! THE PLACES YOU’LL GO! You’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great sights!You’ll join the high fliers who soar to great heights!You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have all the speed.You’ll pass the whole gang, and you’ll soon take the lead.Wherever you fly you’ll be best of the best.Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.Except when you don’t. Because sometimes, you won’t.You’ll get mixed up of course, as you already know.You’ll get mixed up with so many strange birds as you go.So be sure when you step.Step with great care and great tactand remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act.Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.And never mix up your right foot with your left.And will you succeed?Yes! You will indeed!(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.) KIDS, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS! So, be your name Buxbaum or Dowrie or Bassor Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to great places!Today is your day!Your mountain is waiting.So … get on your way!" ----------------------------------------------------------------- I Wanna Be Yours - John Cooper Clark A light-hearted and humorous wedding reading. let me be your vacuum cleaner breathing in your dust let me be your ford cortina i will never rust if you like your coffee hot let me be your coffee pot you call the shots i wanna be yours let me be your raincoat for those frequent rainy days let me be your dreamboat when you wanna sail away let me be your teddy bear take me with you anywhere i dont care i wanna be yours let me be your electric meter i will not run out let me be the electric heater you get cold without let me be your setting lotion hold your hair with deep devotion deep as the deep atlantic ocean thats how deep is my emotion deep deep deep deep deep deep i dont wanna be hers i wanna be yours ----------------------------------------------------------------- Valentine - Wendy Cope A humorous wedding reading that is both short and sweet! My heart had made its mind upAnd I'm afraid its you.Whatever you've got lined up,my heart has made its mind upAnd if you can't be signed upThis year, next year will do.My heart has made its mind up
Humorous Wedding ProverbsHumorous wedding proverbs are a fun way to add humor to your wedding ceremony. Use these humorous wedding readings in your programs or have a friend or family member read several of your favorites. To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up. - Excerpt by Ogden Nash ----------------------------------------------------------------- Married couples who love each other tell each other a thousand things without talking. - Chinese Proverb ----------------------------------------------------------------- There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage. - Martin Luther ---------------------------------------------------------------- Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. - Mark Twain ----------------------------------------------------------------- Successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - German Greer ----------------------------------------------------------------- There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends. - Homer ----------------------------------------------------------------- The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb ----------------------------------------------------------------- Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. - Anonymous ----------------------------------------------------------------- When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. - Anonymous ----------------------------------------------------------------- The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. - Henry Youngman ----------------------------------------------------------------- One good husband is worth two good wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued. - Benjamin Franklin Return From Humorous Wedding Readings to Wedding Ceremony Readings
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