How To Write Wedding Vows

If you are wondering how to write wedding vows and do not know where to start, this guide is for you! We will show you how to write beautiful, personalized vows that reflect your style, personalities, and love for each other.

Obtain Permission

First thing first! Make sure that your officiant and/or church allows you to write your own wedding vows. Many religions require specific vows to be read during the wedding ceremony, so be sure to speak with your officiant before beginning any writing.

Browse Resources

Second, browse different resources, including our wedding readings, wedding poems, and wedding vows pages for inspiration. Print anything that catches your eye or that reminds you of your partner. Ask your partner to do the same.

Brainstorm

Next, sit down either together or separately and ask yourselves a series of questions about your relationship and about the other person. For example:

- Why do you love that person? What is the greatest thing about him/her?

- What are your favorite memories of your partner?

- How has your partner changed your life for the better?

- When did you realize that you were in love with that person or that he/he was the man/woman you were going to marry?

- Did you dream of your husband/wife as a child? Does your partner exceed your expectations?

- Why is marriage important to you?

- Do you two have any inside jokes together? (that are appropriate for public, of course!)

Put It All Together

Your vows should be 1-3 minutes in length- anything longer and you are likely to bore your guests. Be personal, but not too personal. Remember that you are reciting these vows in public, and subjects such as child rearing and finances are best kept at home. Make sure that your vows have a beginning, middle, and an end. Start by using your partner's name. For example, "Dave...." or "My Dearest Katie..."

Do you have any old love letters? Incorporating love letters from early on in your courtship is a beautiful way to personalize your wedding vows.

Practice

Many couples prefer to share what they wrote with their partner so that there are no surprises during the ceremony, but others choose to wait. Either way, do not wait until the last minute! You will want to practice reciting your vows in front of a trusted friend or family member and solicit their feedback.Above all else. Keep it simple. Keep it honest. And write from the heart.

Other Considerations

You probably want to show your officiant what you have written. Your officiant may want to be sure that your vows are a reflection of his or her values as well. Your officiant may also be able to give you advice on how to write wedding vows.
Carry your vows with you to the altar! As much as you may have practiced, you may be overcome with nerves on your big day and unable to recite your vows from memory. At least have your best man/maid of honor hold a written copy for backup.

Learning how to write wedding vows may take some time, but it will be well worth it in the end!

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